i know this isn't me

This isn't me, but right now, which I usually don't, I feel sad.
Lonely, and you guys ever have that feeling when your friends were just totally bluffing and not really your friends?
Ugh, I hate that feeling. But sometimes I wonder...is it real?
I don't know why people feel this way, even sometimes, and I'm not a psychlogist. But do people really want to be each other's friends? Sure, I see the occasional person with their friend from kindergarten, but I don't feel like a friend!
I was basically alone at the lunch table today, yay me, until Justine and her friends came except they just didn't have any space at their table and they weren't really talking to me.
I'll be one less tomorrow, because I'll be at the ropes course thing. I don't even know if I'll have friends to hang out with.
Trust fall? What if the people drop you? I want to, but not then.

Real friends say I.
Hm, I don't know why I'm going through this. I miss seventh grade, and I want Christmas and the summer and the long weekend to come.
:)